La isla bonita

OK Operation Me Time is progressing swimmingly. If you need a refresher, this includes going to the gym, keeping organizedish surroundings, and daily shaving of my unmentionables even without promise of anyone seeing them. Trust me, this is a big feat for me. And my pants are a whole lot roomier, I'm pretty sure it's not because of the gym. I figure I'd take the field of dreams mentality of dating. "If you ladyscape it, they will come."

But I can't complain. Love life aside, everything is going pretty damned well. I got a promotion. Huzzah! And moved into a little office. I feel aaaall growed up.

Last weekend I did some celebrating and I have to say I was so very upset. My latest haunt, Silk City, has officially been ruined for me. We had kind of become obsessed. It was our old school L'Etage. You know, before everyone and their turdish friends found out about it and you could move without elbowing a wannabe hipster in the face? Well that's what Silk City meant to me. No cover, no wait and all the Madonna, Michael and Prince you could shake your shit to. We knew it was just a matter of time before word got around. And how! When we went on Sat, there was a wall of people front to back. My first task was to pee (due to excessive pregaming). Big mistake. The light was out and I had to feel my way around. I haven't been walking right since.

On the verge of a body-heat induced panic attack, my crowd and I bolted after 15 mins went to the 700 club. It had been a while since we'd been there. Mainly because Saturday DJ, as good as he is, smells like a hippie corpse that has been rotting on that bathroom toilet for months. DJ Stank aside, we had fun. I gave some dude my number even though he had a chodey hat on and he kept insisting that I was born in Spain. But he was kinda cute, friend approved, and he called me yest and asked me out for a drink. I will try fit into the pre-drink convos that there will be no train driving, so he can leave the conductor hat at home. And if you're wondering. Yes, it hurts to be this judgmental. But it hurts so good.

Mismatched

Well hello. So I did it. I signed up for the Match and rode out the month. Consensus; still scares le poo outta me. But what do I know? My friend signed up with me- a suicide pact if you will. And she's lovin' it. But we can both agree that there are heaps of crazy dudes in Philadelphia. Don't believe me? Well take a look at this gem of an email I received.

"Roses are Red,
Violets are Blue,
Inspired by your Beauty,
So I’m Writing to you,
Life is Hard and Life can Strife,
Maybe one day I can make you my Wife,
I don’t mean to be Forward and don’t mean to Press,
But Judging by your Page I’m very Impressed,
I know this Sounds Cheesy and you may not Believe Me,
But I just wrote this Poem and you’re the only one I’ve Shown,
If you like what you’ve Read and you like what u See,
Please do not Hesitate in Contacting Me =)"

I couldn't make this shit up. One guy sent me his life story, including but not limited to, a youtube video of his latest vacation. Complete with captions that flew across the screen in dayglo colors "DUDE, THIS IS AWESOME!" Glorious. I also got winked at by a chick, and was tempted to wink back. Maybe I have more soul searching to do than originally thought.

Oh, but don't worry I'm not saying there aren't crazy girls. I am one of them and I wear it proudly on my sleeve (another light bulb flashing as to why I am writing this.) But what I can say with complete honesty is that if you are a single GUY match is a good bet for you. I did a reverse search and the ratio of hot girls to guys is nuts. Such is Philly.

In all honesty, I only went on one date. Well it turned into 3. He was funny and nice and I tried oh so hard to be into it. But alas no sparks. I don't know if it's because I secretly judged him for being on match, or the fact that he over communicated. (Yes, I understand my hypocrisy.) How can I write one blog preaching the woes of no phone calls and now complain about over communicating? As much as a don't like to admit it, the chase is fun. And when you're getting texts on top of emails on top of IMs (all in the span of one hour) you start feeling a little... congested.

So what now? Whatever happens happens. I'm tiiiiired of looking. Dating is exhausting. So for now, I focus on me and maybe he'll turn up in the meantime. I started going to the gym, which is pretty funny if you knew me. I think a direct quote from Megan was that "somewhere there is a dough nut crying." And it's true. If you listen hard enough, you can hear him. He sounds delicious. I digress.

To all of you ladies on Match, I wish you luck. You're braver than I.

Meet You at the Diner!

As a native Long Islander, I consider myself somewhat of a connoisseur of the American diner. In fact, I truly love them. I grew up with a diner on every corner. After every high school evening out, we headed to the local diner. God knows we were tired and hungry from the hours of aimlessly driving around. It was a who's who of the Wantagh Social Scene. Fast forward 10 years and I am a girl about Philly, in constant search of the perfect diner.

Living in Center City, I find my diner options are slim. While I know that Philly has some of the best restaurants around, sometimes a girl just needs a greasy meal. Rittenhouse Square's Little Pete's (219 South 17th Street) is tiny, but it gets props for being open 24 hours, making drunken nights all the better. University City's Philly Diner (3925 Walnut Street) may be the worst diner I've ever visited. Packed with Penn kids and locals, I excitedly ordered a platter of cheese fries. Imagine my disappointment when they served me a small portion of microwaved American Cheese fries. I think I left in tears. Do not waste your time at this place under any circumstance.

The newly vamped, Northern Liberties hot spot Silk City Diner (435 Spring Garden Street) is too trendy to be a diner in my expert opinion. It is delicious but not super cheap. They offer plenty of fancy drinks, making this an ideal place for a girl's night out. South Philly's famed Penrose Diner (2016 Penrose Avenue) has some of the most spectacular people watching that you could ever imagine. A Friday night in the heart of South Philly will provide hours of conversation for your table.

Finally, my top rated diner choice is Bella Vista's Morning Glory Diner (735 South 10th Street). The hours are terrible and the servers aren't overly friendly, but it is a wonderful brunch spot if you can withstand a bit of a wait. Be sure to try the homemade ketchup.

Support diners- an American institution. Ben Franklin would have wanted it that way.

Excommunicated

A few things about me. 1.) I have crazy hair that kind of resembles a mop. A sexy sexy mop, of course. 2.) Sometimes I think I might drink too much but the thought of not drinking makes me sad. I likes my wine. Apparently not as much as I likes my liver. 3.) and the most important is that I think I am perpetually trapped in one of those ice breakers. You know the one where you have the piece of paper taped to your forehead and other people have to give you clues about what's written on there? Well I think I've finally begun to narrow mine down. It either says "rebound" or "Person you want to treat like crap".

So the ex, I have now erased him from my life. Finally. It's a New Years resolution that just kind of fell into my lap. And I have his douchebaggines to thank for it. We never talk but he always seems to pop back into my life whenever he likes to and give it a metophical noogie. Usually just around the time when I start seeing someone new or haven't thought of him in a while. I think all exes posses this gift. And I allow him to. Why? Cause he was hot. And even though he was a good guy, he definitely took advantage of me. So last night was the straw that broke the camel's back. He IMed me out of nowhere to wish me a happy new year and tell me that he's sorry he didn't come to my party but he is seeing someone. Oh and that he thought getting drunk around me would be a bad idea and that it was probably bad that he really wished he could be there. Am I missing something? I don't know when I subscribed to updates about his personal life. UNSUBSCRIBE! UNSUBSCRIBE! Remove me from your mailing list. I mean I certainly didn't think he was celibate but I also don't need to know when he's seeing someone. That was one of the benefits to having him hundreds of miles away. Anyway, I feel like I said my piece. That we are not friends, we don't need to talk and him telling me this was purely selfish on his part. He is now blocked. The initial upsetness has been replaced by a weight off my shoulder. I no longer have to wonder when he's going to decide to barge back into my life.

Onto other men. I tried match. I'm only doing it for this month. I've talked to a few nice guys, got winked at by people I'm pretty sure aren't guys yet and decided I am very shallow. It's not for me. While it's kind of addictive, almost like shopping for dudes, it feels a little forced to me.

Oh, and in random news. I get a text from sidehugs (remember him? Cause I barely do) on Friday at like 8 pm. It said "sorry I was such a dick 2 u". A.) This makes me nervous because I didn't realize he was such a dick to me. And b.) I've come to the conclusion that he's either going through the steps or it was part of a new years resolution.

So now I'm option free, but also ex free. So it's a good feeling. I think I'm going to try to enjoy being on my own a little more rather than trying so hard to look for a cuddle buddy. That's what cats are for. Now if I can only keep them from scratching my face.