Confessions of a Drunk Dialer

I have a problem that I think most people conquer in college. It just so happens that my condition has only gotten worse since college. I am a chronic drunk dialer/text messager/ emailer. My condition knows no boundaries. It doesn’t matter how long it’s been since I’ve talked to you or the last conversation we had. It doesn’t matter if you’re an ex boyfriend, ex best friend, ex guy that said hi to me that time in that bar. I’m a monster.

It’s such a problem that when I was coming out of anesthesia, after having my wisdom teeth pulled, I told the hygienist who was walking me to a bed, that I felt like drunk dialing. What could she do? She smiled politely and made sure I was in a recovery room, far from the phones.

I’ve tried to deal with the problem. I’ve deleted numbers from my phone, deleted email addresses, and even tried writing notes to myself. But where there is a will there’s a way. Just recently, I listed a particular person whom I so kindly reached out to and who is so very very bad news, in my phone as Do Not Resuscitate. I have a bunch of these in my phone- strange but true.
Obviously, there is no way to bar me from technology. It’s better than me showing up at your house, right? Drunken Megan in person with something to say would be way worse. So I warn you innocent people that you should never answer a call from me past midnight, nor should you read emails from me that may seem perfectly coherent but have subjects like “I just need to say this, but definitely don’t write me back”. But, the good news is that apparently I’m not the only one with such a severe problem and cell phone manufacturers in Korea have found a solution- a breathalyzer for your phone! Check this article out http://news.com.com/2061-10801_3-6088879.html .

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Drunk_dialing