Tuesday, February 26, 2008

R.I.P late night binging

Today is a sad, sad day. Last night, before going to a show at Johnny Brenda's (more on this later) I stopped into my beloved Wawa on 20th and Locust and all of the shelves were barren. Then I noticed a sign that in 3 days they will be closed (you can't see it but a single tear just hit my keyboard.) I don't know what upsets me more, the fact that I was blindsided by the very people who fed me when I was intoxicated, put up with me singing entirely too loud to the muzak playing over the speakers, and gave me feeless atm withdrawls over the past 3 years, or is it the fact that I am actually really upset that a Wawa is closing. Now I have to shlep it aaall the way to 20th and Chestnut for my delicious hoagie treats. Le sigh. But what's the deal? First the wawa on 15th and Walnut now this one? I thought they were doing well. I mean there are like 3 with in 3 miles of my parent's house in the burbs, alone. So I am going to start a petition for a WAWA delivery service. "One hot dog please. Yes, straight to my mouth. Actually, could you go one step further and just chew it up and regurgitate it right in there."

Anyway, so yeah. My emo friend and I went to JB's last night cause he wanted to see this band called the Headlights. I had never heard of them but figured I couldn't pass up the chance of possibly meeting my dream hipsterish fella. The band was actually really good. But the clientele was mostly made up of the bad kind of crunchy hipster. You know the kind with the smelly knit caps and the coke bottle glasses? To each his own. Anyway, it's tough to meet people at bars and it doesn't help that my friend is a dude and it always looks like we're on a date. So I spotted a guy that was pretty cute and decided to ignore the fact that he was wearing skinny jeans. Then my friend (emo) and I realized that he was a drummer of this band and that I had already forced my number on him about a year ago. Is the selection in Philly that small? I've been forced to recycle? Oh well my only other option is hot but has the personality of toast that's been staling on the counter for a few days.

So I went up to him and said "Didn't I force my number on you once?" He remembered, still had my number, gave a good excuse for not calling and we had a nice little chat. So I'll let you know if I hear from him.

More importantly. Here's a question for you. Where are all the hot people in Philly hiding? I know there has to be some. The second part of this question is why am I not invited? I think it's because of those years with braces. Pretty people can sense that shit. It's like dogs smelling fear.

Monday, February 11, 2008

Saint Valentine. Why must you smite me?

It's that time of year. You, the coupled, call it Valentines Day. We, the independents, call it Singles Awareness Day (also known as S.A.D.) While others will be toasting to companionship and the fact that you will most likely be getting some, I will be enjoying my second annual S.A.D. festivities. For the second year, my friends and I (some coupled but they have to pretend to not like each other for the night) will be singing karaoke in our own room atop Fugi Mountain restaurant. I plan on opening with "All by myself" leading into "un break my heart" then maybe up the tempo a little with "love stinks". I kid. In reality it's just an excuse to get drunk with my peeps and crack a few glasses, with what I always think at the time is my angelic voice.

Operation me time hit a snag today. I'm moderately hairy and this freezing weather is blackening my soul. And instead of going out and trying to meet people, I opted to stay in this weekend and play a crap load of guitar hero and sing star for ps2. I justified it cause I was drunk and people came over. We tried to go to Loie and it stunk, and we realized we were having much more fun with the video games. But then I fell outside of wawa when I was trying to get a hot dog. It was so worth it because it was the best late night hot dog ever made. And every time I look at the scab on my hand, I remember. Oh hot dog, will you be my Valentine?

OK I'm going to try to get out of this funk and go to the gym. grrrrrrrr. Oh and I am going to take up yoga. Although I'm afraid I'm going to look like an asshole during the first class. The fact that the place is covered with windows doesn't help.


Wednesday, February 06, 2008


I've come to a realization. I don't think I could date Ryan Gosling. On my walk home last night I discovered that I would not be OK with him going off and making out with the Scarlet Johansons and Natalie Portmans of the world. He would then, of course, tell me that he would give up acting to be with me and I just couldn't have that. As much as I would like to not admit it, I think his famousness adds to his appeal. 'Cause then he would just be some dude that was in the Mickey Mouse Club.

I won't have to deal with this situation until he actually meets and subsequently falls madly in love with me. So I went out with 700 Club boy on Sat. Actually let me back this up. Even though I've been going on dates, I'm in the middle of the longest dry spell I'd had in a long while (hence my delusions of Mr. Gosling.) So Friday I'm at work. Feeling pretty randy, when along comes an IM from dating past. He was one of the dudes I was talking to, but it had kind of just fizzled. He's hot and all, but came with little too much baggage for my taste... just got out of a long relationship blaah blaaah blaaaah. Well,he caught me at a weak moment and invited me to his burb house for wining, dining. and making out. Dry spell is officially over. And I went into Saturday's date with that itch scratched. Sweet relief.

The date was fun, but he was wearing more jewelry then I was. Hippie jewelry. With his shirt unbuttoned enough to provide a window to his copious amounts of chest hair. Unpleasant. We went to Black Sheep (my ol' fallback) then Snack Bar, which was pretty cool. I got too drunk. Shocker. He called me to go out again this weekend and I'm not really into it. Here's why I am crappy at dating. I would much rather just never call him back and let it go away rather than saying I'm not interested. But that's rude, right? If you're a dude would you rather be rejected or just have someone not call you back?